Thank You for Being a Friend

It's been one of those crazy, rollercoaster-of-emotional-highs-and-lows couple of weeks for me here in the 'burbs. I've counted my blessings every morning, and cried myself to sleep more than a few nights. **Awesome** And so as I sit here at my computer to punch out a few thoughts, process some pain, and try to remain grounded, I'm brought back to a place where I have the most profound sense of gratitude for the most tangible of blessings: Friends.

I appreciate the people in my life who are dependable. True to their word. Honest. Open. Unafraid of intimacy-- not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy--as in being vulnerable and real, unguarded, walls down.

I am grateful for the friends who I can call when I'm feeling shattered. And for those who I can just send a message asking for prayer, no questions asked, and know that I'm being lifted up in that very moment.

I am blessed by the friends who check in just to say "hey" or to share something silly/awesome/crappy that just happened, whether through social media or the old-fashioned way.

I am so thankful for the friendships that have been built and grown over time, whether bonded through common faith, life passions, or shared history.

I love the friends who I can laugh with, cry with, dream big with, and do life with. Who challenge me but don't try to compete with me. Who inspire me but don't judge me. Who just let me be me, and actually like it that way.

New friends and old, long-lost and reconnected- you are each and every one a treasure to me. I do love you. I do pray for the best for you. I do enjoy your company and the memories we've created together. And I do look forward to the next time I see you.

Life will always be a funny thing, filled with ups and downs, amazing victories and crushing defeats. Count your blessings, cherish your loved ones, be you. And thank you for being a friend. (Bonus points if you have the "Golden Girls" theme song in your head right now. High five if you also can't help but think of JT's "You've Got a Friend" rolling in there as well.)

Why Do You Care?

Sometimes people ask why I care so much about kids thousands of miles away, when there are plenty of kids right here who need our help. I don't disagree; there are plenty of kids here in America who do need our help- so I do what I can, when I can, and where I can. And I hope you do too, especially if you are one of the people who asks "why help people in other countries when we have needs right here" or any variation of that question.

In the US, we have many state and federal programs as well as non-profit organizations, service clubs, synagogues and churches set up and dedicated to helping people right here. And that is great! It isn't quite the same in many other countries, thousands of miles away, where decades- even centuries- of extreme poverty, rampant unemployment, minimal education opportunities, government corruption, religious turf wars, natural disasters and a frightening lack of resources has forced generations of women to go without access to education or healthcare and where children become orphaned and have to try and raise themselves.

If you are fortunate enough to live in a country where you have the freedom to worship according to your choice of faith, you are one of the lucky ones.

If you have a college education, or even a high school education, you are one of the lucky ones.

If you have a job, a vehicle, a bank account, or a beloved pet; if you have family and friends, and have the freedom to marry for love or remain single, you are one of the lucky ones.

If you have a roof over your head, clothes on your body, shoes on your feet, and food in your belly... and your pantry... you are truly one of the lucky ones.

So when I hear from people with all of the above complaining about sending money for foreign aid, I honestly have to wonder how it has hurt them. I don't understand. And I wonder what they are doing to help meet the needs of people "right here" ...so I ask. Not because I think I'm somehow superior, hell I know I'm not. I just want to learn about the places where they volunteer, what they do support, what they are passionate about. What you care about matters, because it's only by reaching out to care for and help each other that we begin to understand what love really looks like, and develop compassion. Some would say that is when they feel connected to God. That's beautiful!

There are so many ways for people to get involved, and I firmly believe that any amount of good we do in this life is a positive thing for all humanity. I know that helping AIDS orphans in Africa is not something that every person is going to get excited about, and that's OK... because I am excited about it, and totally passionate about finding ways to make life better in my home, my community, and my world.

*The picture up top cracks me up! I love how Elizabeth is trying to push Rogers (shyest boy every) next to me for the shot. She was all, "Stand closer! Smile!" LOL

Adventures in Kenya, Part 3: Friends and Bombs

One of the greatest things about being involved as a volunteer with Tumaini International Ministries www.tumainiinternational.org for all these years has been the opportunity to develop great friendships with incredible people on the other side of the world. 10 years since Tumaini was formed to address the AIDS pandemic in sub-Saharan Africa, specifically in the area of Masii, Kenya- I feel like I've been blessed to meet men and women who are so genuinely in love with God that all they do pours love into the people around them. They are on the front lines, working daily to bring hope and healing to their community. You would think that given the context of the work and the enormity of the problems they are faced with, these would not be fun people to hang out with. Too serious, too stuffy. Nothing could be farther from the truth! Along with their tremendous passion for helping the kids and working with families who have suffered so much, each of these men and women have a deeply rooted joy that is unmatched. We laugh together until we are wiping tears away and holding our sides. We have a few running jokes that get pulled out with each visit. We share stories, family updates, meals, and dreams together. And through it all, when someone is in trouble, we are there for each other. I could not be more grateful.

When our friend Paul received my panicked email explaining that we were in Nairobi and were in the middle of a very unpleasant fiasco and really needed his help, he didn't hesitate. I explained that we were not hurt nor were we in danger, just that we needed to leave the lodge as quickly as possible. I was exhausted, flustered and at a loss for what else to do, and hoped he could just point me in the right direction. He decided to send Josphat ("Tawa") and Elizabeth to our rescue. They had been out visiting a few Tumaini families, delivering food and supplies, and gathering sponsored child updates when they received his call. They were several hours away from our location, but came as soon as they could and collected us in the Tumaini van. Seeing them pull up to the compound was such a relief! After we exchanged hugs and piled into the van, I silently thanked God for blessing me with such dear friends.

During our time together, even though it was just a week, we grew even closer. Perhaps the fact that we didn't have a big team of people helped some, as it was a more intimate setting and easier to manage logistically. Less like the Wazungu Circus, more like a relaxed visit with out of town guests. Actually, as Paul liked to remind us, "You are more than our guests. You are family!" So awesome! We loved spending time with Paul and his family, Elizabeth, Tawa, Esther- we got to see our buddy Jackson, who has the craziest stories and silliest laugh, and hear about the different kids' families that he was preparing to go visit. We got to spend a bit of time in the office and observe all of the work that goes on, and marvel that anything gets accomplished with the many guests that drop in throughout any given day. By guests, I mean sponsored children stopping by, relatives asking about getting their grandchild/niece/nephew/son/daughter on the waiting list, church members asking how they can help, and Board members preparing for their upcoming meeting. Oh, and us, the big wazungus.

Ever the gracious hosts, Alli and I were treated to a couple of surprise visits with some of the kids that we sponsor. We visited her "daughter" Emma at her school, my "son" Rogers at his home, and even caught up with her "son" Palvine, who has since graduated from the Tumaini program, is taking college classes, and has a full time job. While each visit with the kids was special, this one stood out because seeing Palvine looking so handsome and healthy, able to care for himself as never before, was very powerful.

On the final day of our trip, Alli and I still needed to shop for some materials for our freshly established sewing projects in Masii. Elizabeth and Tawa took us to Nairobi, where we had lunch at the Java House before heading over to the downtown shopping centers. Tawa dropped off Elizabeth, Alli and I as we went on foot to hit some of the fabric shops. The first place we went into was okay, but not great. The next place we went into, however, was a jackpot! Reams and reams of gorgeous fabric: lessos, batiks, pashminas, in every quality and price range, plus a few finished products that were to die for. On top of that, the shop owner is a wonderful gentleman- welcoming and knowledgable with a warm Indian accent and 37 years in business at that location. We were having a blast going through fabrics when suddenly, the sound of an explosion caught us all off guard. This was much louder and more resonant than a car backfire; it was a bomb, and from the sound of it this was much too close for comfort. We all froze, slowly staring at each other with eyes wide. Within seconds, we could see a wave of panic on the faces of people outside as cries went up and people ran into shops, pulling down the metal security bars over the doors and huddling. The stark reality of life in the developing world was in our face. The next five minutes seemed like an eternity, as Alli and I stood out of sight, pressed back into bolts of fabric covering the walls of the small shop. Strangely, neither one of us felt panicked or afraid. "You OK?" I asked, "Yup, I'm good!" she replied. "That was a bomb," I said. "Yes, sure sounded like it," she replied. Standing there with my BFF, I was glad that the friend I have been closest to for my entire life was right there. It felt like we were kids again, playing superheroes in the backyard. Just like in our childhood adventures, somehow we knew everything was going to be okay. Elizabeth was on her cell phone with Tawa, trying to gather details. "Can you hurry up and finish?" he said, "It's getting bad out here." A few more minutes passed, and then a sense of relief as the security doors went back up, and life as normal resumed. Alli, Elizabeth and I finished our business and then headed back outside to find Tawa bringing the van around the corner just then. We piled back in the van, and got the update from him about the blast. Paul had been on the phone with him minutes after the explosion registered, as it had come out as Breaking News while he was at work and he was of course concerned about all of us. We learned that the bomb had gone off literally the next street over from where we had been shopping. Thankfully, no lives were lost, but nearly 30 people had been injured. Details would continue to unfold throughout the day and by the time we had flown out and were on the ground in Amsterdam, reports came that the Somali terriorist militia, Al-Shabboub, was suspected in the attack and a suspect had been identified. Needless to say, but our prayer life improved dramatically and we ask God for continued protection for our friends abroad.

You might think that such an adventure as this would discourage me from returning to Kenya, but you would be wrong. All the more, I want to strengthen my ties to the work being done in Kenya, both through Tumaini International Ministries and through our small business, WE Care Jewelry & Accessories, LLC. Terrorists SUCK, anywhere in the world. And the truth is bad things happen everywhere. I'm not rushing into the face of danger. I'm not a hero. I'm not a soldier, God bless them. I'm just a woman who believes that through education and development, through love and empowerment, this is how we can work together in building a better world and fostering peace. That, my friends, is worth living for.

Adventures in Kenya, Part 2: Masii

When our friends Elizabeth and Josphat ("Tawa") came to pick us up later that day, we knew that they had been driving for several hours. Seeing them and being embraced by them was just the salve our wounded hearts needed. Leaving the lodge, we said goodbye to some of the friends there who were actually sad to see us go; they were not aware of the fiasco, and genuinely confused by our sudden departure. I felt strongly that in time we could resolve the issues with the lodge and our friends in Nairobi, and hopefully clear up any misunderstandings before returning to Los Angeles. After all, these are people who are very dear to me and whose work I love and respect. We wanted to be able to continue supporting their good work, and we especially wanted to continue providing assistance to the ladies at the work sites who we had met earlier in the year. We pulled away in the little Tumaini van and began to tell Elizabeth and Tawa what had happened. Like us, they were stunned. They shared our confusion and even our frustration about the lack of communication and strange response from our lodge hosts. Most of all, they just told us over and over that they were so glad to see us and that everything would be OK. This, we knew, was absolutely true. We settled in to our seats and simply enjoyed the scenic 2 hour drive to Masii.

Along the road, we got caught up on the happenings in each others' lives, heard updates on the Tumaini ministry, chatted and laughed with each other. The four of us on a little road trip, not exactly what we had originally planned, but so right in every way. We looked forward to spending time with these and all of our other friends in Masii, and hoped that we might even be able to visit some of the kids that we sponsor. We began to dream again about new possibilities, and wondered what it would look like to start opening channels for our work in Masii sooner rather than later. Maybe, we thought, God was sparing us not just a few days, but possibly years in Nairobi and instead moving us closer to realizing our dreams in the heart of Masii. Isn't it funny how when you stop being mad- at God, and at people- for things not going according to your plans, that unexpected blessings somehow begin to flow. A heart that holds on to bitterness leaves no room for gratitude.

During the next 6 days, it seemed as though each moment was more amazing than the one before it. I cannot count the number of times Alli and I looked at each other, eyes wide and smiles beaming, shaking our heads in stunned admiration for how the drama was unfolding into a dream realized. It became apparent that we were exactly where we were supposed to be, and at the precise time. Amazing! Here's the bullet point rundown:

+ We had initially planned to coordinate with our friends from the Nairobi lodge to help oversee our new sewing projects. Instead, Elizabeth and another dear friend, Esther, offered to assist us with our work projects in Masii, as long as they could do it on their day off and it wouldn't interfere with their work for Tumaini. They would be the "eyes and ears" for us, helping to coordinate the sewing projects. A huge prayer answered! We gratefully accepted their help, and in our gratitude offered to compensate them for the time we knew they would be putting into this.

+ We had initially planned to share new designs with ladies in Nairobi who would be producing our newest product line. Instead, we identified and met with Irene, the perfect candidate to begin producing this line right from Masii (technically, from a very nearby village- photo above). A young widow with 4 children, all sponsored through Tumaini, Irene is a trained seamstress who had dreamed of opening her own dressmaking/tailoring shop to support her family. As we learned from our friend Elizabeth, Tumaini had located and secured an available shop for Irene and had just received funding to cover her set up costs, including her own sewing machine, materials, and 3 months rent! It was scheduled to be set up next week. As a new business, Irene would have had a difficult time attracting customers... so Tumaini had contracted with her to begin making school uniforms for some of their sponsored children. We met with her and shared our plans, showed her some patterns, and asked her if she thought she could take on the project. Her response? "I had just come here to greet you after leaving my prayer and devotions meeting at my church. Yes! This is an answer to my prayers. Praise God!" You could have knocked me over with a feather.

+ We had originally planned to restock our inventory of beaded necklaces and bracelets made by the ladies in the Nairobi work sites. Instead, discovered a local source near Masii that had a group of women who had started making beautiful beaded jewelry! There are currently no groups in Masii doing this that we are aware of, as it is anything but a tourist location. Later in the week, we met with my dear friend Mary, a strong leader in the local community of Masii, and shared our ideas with her. This forward-thinking, bright businesswoman jumped at the opportunity to partner with us, and pledged to help identify and locate enough women locally who would want to become artisans. The chance to not only learn a marketable skill, but to also meet regularly with women who were struggling just like them, build each other up, and minister to their needs while paying them fair and honest wages was exactly what we were hoping to initiate. Knowing that it would only work if it came from within Masii, together we could help provide a vehicle for these ladies' personal empowerment and the resources to help them better care for their families, without being forced to resort to prostitution, drugs, and a life of alienation. "I can think of 50 women right now who could do this," said Mary. "Let's start with 5, and build up from there," we responded. Even as I write this, I relive the moment and get the goosebumps all over again.

There were many more affirming instances throughout the week, these are just a few. But aren't they amazing?

NEXT: Adventures in Kenya, Part 3: Friends & Bombs

Adventures in Kenya, Part 1: Nairobi

It has been exactly 1 week since returning from my latest trip to Kenya. 1 week to kick jet lag to the curb, resume my "normal" circadian rhythm, and process the most recent chapter in pursuing my dreams. **No big deal**

In church circles, we like to talk about things like "Vision" and "Leaving a Legacy" and other grand pursuits. This isn't such a bad thing, if you can absorb it and apply it without becoming pompous and judgemental. When you actually do believe that God has created you with gifts, talents, and a purpose beyond only seeking your personal pleasure, it can be the impetus for doing some pretty great things with your life and enjoying yourself in the process. Helping others, caring about people from all walks of life, becoming a champion for causes that touch your heart- not a bad thing at all. But far too often, our church huddles and pep talks about visioneering and legacy-leaving don't push us past our fears of looking like a complete weirdo. So we get excited, take a few tentative steps forward, and then return to the hamster wheel of same old same.

In October 2011 when my BFF and I launched our small business together, I have to admit that I was totally high. Not on substances (20 years clean, baby!) but on the possibilities that lie in front of me. It was an adrenaline rush like no other, and I was dizzy with excitement. I still am! For all of the years that I've worked in Non-Profit and travelled the world for ministry and missions, I felt I was truly stepping into an arena of faith that my soul was desperately craving. Finally, my years of dream-chasing were beginning to take the shape of a lifework I could actually be proud of. And so what if I look like a complete weirdo? That isn't exactly new territory, so bring it.

OK, so back to the Kenya trip: Our purpose for this visit was very specific. We planned to work alongside one of our partners, visiting a work site in the Nairobi slums and sharing ideas on new products, efficient shipping practices, and spending time visiting and encouraging the amazing ladies that we had met earlier this year. I had been in touch with our in-country contacts for months in advance and had arranged our airport pick-up, lodging, and itinerary for the short week that we would be there. Dates and times were shared. Logistics confirmed. Everything was set up, and we were SO excited to begin this part of our small business journey. Two days of air travel from Los Angeles to Amsterdam to Nairobi, crossing multiple time zones, stuffed into cramped seats for an inhumane length of time- not to mention the expense of travelling even in Economy Class- we were ready, and beyond excited! And that's when things got weird.

We arrived at the airport in Nairobi just before 6am, relieved to be out of the flying tin can and on terra firma. Baggage collected and piled up onto the trolley, the two of us standing out about as much as two white girls in Africa possibly can, we stepped out into the arrivals lobby and waited for our driver, holding up our sign and smiling like pageant contestants. And we waited. And waited. Knowing that Nairobi traffic can be horrendous, we didn't get too freaked out when 30 minutes turned into 45, and no driver had appeared to collect us. I called the lodge manager, a friend whom I've known for nearly a decade, and was happy to hear his familiar voice: "Michelle! Are you here?" Yes! We are here! "OK- the driver is nearby. Just a minute. OK he will be there soon." Great! Can't wait to see you! "Ha Ha, OK see you soon." Another 20 minutes, and there was our driver. We piled into the small car, grateful that all of our large luggage fit into the trunk space and spare seat. As we were riding to the lodge, watching the sunrise bathe the Kenyan countryside in a golden glow, disturbing pieces of the story began to be revealed by our driver. As it turns out, the people that we had flown thousands of miles to see were out of town and would be gone for the next 3-4 days. We would only be in Kenya for 6, and one of the days was promised to friends in Masii- 2 hours away from the Nairobi area. We were lucky that our driver was near the airport at the time I placed the call, because he had just dropped off someone and was heading back to the lodge when he got the call to turn around and come pick us up. Arriving at the lodge, we were grateful that a guest room was still available. We took some light breakfast, where we learned that the main person we had expected to meet with actually had no intention of seeing us and was leaving the country. Dumbfounded, we went inside our room to stretch out, talk through our confusion and disappointment, and figure out next steps. After calming down and assuring each other that God indeed had something else planned, we went into the office and met with my friend to ask what had happened regarding our arrangements. He admitted that yes, we had agreed and confirmed the date and time of our arrival a month prior; yet somehow there was confusion about the exact day, and so he hadn't made our arrival known to the people we were expecting to meet with. Stunned, I asked why he hadn't contacted me if he had been unclear. He responded that he had, in fact, sent me an email... when we were 35,000 feet in the air, on the day before we would be arriving. If I had been stunned before this revelation, I now felt as if I had been punched in the face with a Sherman tank. Nothing made sense. It was one of those cosmic WTF moments, to be sure. Are You There God? It's Me, and I'm Pissed! Angry, confused, crushed, humiliated, you name it- we were suddenly facing the reality that our plans had gone completely to dust, and there was nothing we could do to fix them.

We returned to our room, ranted, cried, and prayed. We figured out that we had 3 choices: 1) Book a safari, forget about work, and leave the lodge; 2) Book a return flight to Los Angeles and leave the lodge; or 3) Contact our friends down in Masii, ask if we could come sooner than expected, and leave the lodge. In any case, we clearly needed to leave the lodge where, for the first time ever, we felt unwelcome and intrusive. I sent an email to our friends in Masii explaining that we were in some trouble, and asked if it was possible to come down to visit them today. Within minutes, I received the response that they would be coming right away to bring us home with them, and that they were delighted to see us sooner than expected. The wave of love that washed over me in that instant was unbelievable.

We had planned to set up channels for our work in Masii sometime in the future, maybe 3-5 years down the road. We have loved Masii since Day 1, and had dreamed of bringing the kind of community development and economic change there among the people who had held our hearts dearly. In our minds, the prudent thing to do was to continue working with the existing sites in the Nairobi slums, build a model from that, modify it and eventually apply it in the more rural context of Masii. On this day, however, we were overcome by the matchless strength of God's timing and will.

NEXT: Adventures in Kenya, Part 2- Masii