Pause: Pray: Go

It’s hard to believe it’s only Day 4 in Kenya. It’s just Monday, after all! Granted, there were two days of travel including one l-o-n-g layover in Amsterdam that make it feel like I’ve been away from home forever. The combination of jet lag, lack of sleep, and being thrust into a new group of people does have an impact on what I’ve come to know as “normal.” Add to that being unplugged from hockey (IT’S THE PLAYOFFS!), my BlackBerry, Facebook, Twitter… it’s just weird.

It feels like in many ways, life as I know it has been paused.

Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

And so, I pause.

I pause because sometimes stepping back from “normal” is the only way to see how much I’ve been missing. I like to think of it as God’s way of inviting me to review, reevaluate, and maybe reset the trajectory of my life.

I’ve been taking this same mission trip for many years, and even though many things are the same (i.e., typical tourist days, rural church service, camp, home visits, etc.) it’s always different, always a unique experience. No matter how many times I go to camp and see hundreds of beautiful, precious, funny and amazing kids, it is always wonderful to spend even just a little bit of time with them. It reminds me to be truly grateful for all that I have and all that I have seen and done, every experience and learning opportunity. No matter how many home visits I go on, how many times I hear the same silly jokes about Idi Amin and the Queen of England, or ride together on impossible roads, or hear little kids yell out “MZUNGU!” (“WHITE PERSON!”) while giggling and waving frantically, or share a lovingly prepared meal with men and women who are built of stronger stuff and greater faith than me, I am challenged, amazed, overwhelmed and blessed. It challenges me to love people more fully and authentically, even and especially those who think differently than me. I find that the muscles of faith and humility that I have allowed to atrophy are almost instantly revived, and my prayer life receives the kick-start it has so desperately needed. I pray, and ask God to take my life and create in me a clean heart and a good spirit. I want my eyes open, my heart broken, and my life to be a pleasant offering of goodness and peace.

Tomorrow, I will get to go and see my “son” and spend some time visiting with him and his mother at their home. I am so excited, and I can’t wait to give them a little something. Until then, though, I remain on pause. I see already that there is a LOT of work yet to do in me.