Confessions of a Potty Mouth

Swearing. Curse Words. Foul Language. #@%@##*&!!

In attempting to exercise self-control, I think this may be the biggest hurdle I've ever tried to clear.

Ever since I was a little girl, I can remember the power of the Dirty Word. Whenever I found myself at odds with a neighborhood bully or about to get pounded by a school-yard foe, I used my greatest weapon: Potty Mouth. Weilded at the precise moment, I could leave my opponent stunned and speechless- leaving me just enough of a break to throw a punch or turn and run. Pretty heady stuff for a six-year-old!

As a kid, my selection was not too varied. I only used the few that I heard from Pops when he lost his temper over something: Hell, Dammit, and if he was REALLY peeved, G-D DAMN IT!!! That one scared the shyte out of me, coming from the thundering voice of his 6'2" frame. Let me just be clear, he rarely lost his temper with me, or my brother, or even my Mom. He never threw stuff around, he wasn't abusive- verbally or otherwise- and I can only remember a few times EVER that I got spanked by him. He is very even-keel, and not a big communicator- but when he gets upset about something, eesh. Scary. OK, back to me.

As I quickly came to realize, nice little girls do not use foul language. Ever. Much less do classy, smart, beautiful Christian women, especially if they actually do love linguistics and can turn a phrase quite nicely without the use of expletives. So what was I to do? Give up cursing? Use pseudo-swearing? Go f-ing insane??

Turns out, I actually like to let fly a little foul language when the mood or occasion merits it. I'm comfortable with detonating a well-timed f-bomb, or tossing in some blue words for shock value. And let's be honest, driving in So Cali pretty much begs for it now and again.

What I am very conscious of, however, is the company I keep. I mind my mouth when it's appropriate, and hold my tongue rather than offend someone with my words whenever possible. There's really no excuse not to. So please, if we are ever hanging out and enjoying a few beers at the pub, or if we are at the hockey game and my team is getting stomped or the ref makes a REALLY BAD CALL, or if you are in the passenger seat when Super Jerk rides our ass then proceeds to speed around and cut us off in traffic... be prepared for the ugly that may fly from my pretty little mouth. If it offends you, tell me, and I will apologize. I will even make an effort not to unload around you.

So, I will keep trying to find a comfortable balance with my choice of words, and moderate my foul language outbursts as best I can. Peace and Blessings, and Have a Nice F-ing Day. :)